my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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