I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
