didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
