well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
