Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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