I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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