Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
