I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
