I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
