Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
