If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
