So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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