That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
