I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
