Your face is a jimmy john
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
