dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's rum buckets o'clock
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
