South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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