It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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