I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
