Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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