i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
