If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
