I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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