I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
