so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
