Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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