so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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