Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
