I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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