why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
