I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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