Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
