you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
