This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Apparently you make a good broom.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
