I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
