Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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