i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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