People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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