just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
