Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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