Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
