Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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