I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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