I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
