Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
