You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
