hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
