there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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