I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
