I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
