You smell like stripper and shame
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
