it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
